Amid our ever-changing world, with life sometimes happening beyond our control, it's easy to get pulled into mental spaces that don't serve us. Whether navigating daily life, work challenges, family pressure, or anxiety, we're all working through something. In our shared human experience, none of us has it completely figured out – we're all works in progress.
Terms like "self-care," "healing," and "prioritizing mental health" have entered our daily lexicon, but have they truly become things we practice? Within the Black community, balancing self-care with daily survival in a world that often overlooks our contributions can feel impossible. But, loving ourselves isn't optional – it's paramount.
When we board a plane, we get instructed that in the event of an emergency, we have to put our masks on first before we help someone else. To be and show up as our best in the world, I believe we need love and it starts with ourselves: We need to love ourselves before we are capable of opening our hearts, sharing, and spreading love to others.
Self-love is an active practice with a myriad of benefits that show up in real time to help us heal, grow, and prioritize our mental well-being. Here are practical ways to pour back into yourself and cultivate it:
1. Practice Loving Kindness
- “May I be safe”
- “May I be healthy”
- “May I be happy”
- “May life unfold with ease”
Start by offering these phrases to yourself, then extend them to others (“may you’’) – from beloved friends to challenging relationships, and finally to all beings (“may all beings”).
2. Set Boundaries
Recognize your limits and communicate them to yourself and others unapologetically. Protect your space and energy by passing on things that may feel draining. In doing this, you allow yourself to show up fully to places and spaces that best align with you. Remember: "No" is a complete sentence.
3. Audit your consumption
Everything we take in impacts our mental wellness. Evaluate:
- Media: What are you watching, reading, and listening to? How does it affect you?
- Community: Who's in your circle? Identify those who lift you up and those whose energy may be draining you.
4. Create more time for YOU
Prioritize time with yourself. This isn't selfishness – it's necessary maintenance for your spirit.
5. Speak over yourself
Words and language are important – our tongue has the power of life and death within it. Be mindful and intentional about our words and language. Sometimes, the words we choose for ourselves can define our circumstances, outcomes, and capabilities.
6. Love is powerful and radical
Love can instantly shift the atmosphere, your mood, how you do things, and how you perceive things. Practicing self-love isn't easy, especially when we're caught up in our emotions. Yes, feel your feelings – but you don't have to stay in moods or mental spaces that don't serve you.
"Being our best" exists on a spectrum – some days are 10s, others are 7s, and that's okay. The more we intentionally practice self-love, the more natural it becomes. Over time, these practices transform into radical acts of resilience, helping us resist those mental spaces that don't serve us.
Self-love isn't just self-care – it's a revolutionary practice of reclaiming our mental, physical, and emotional well-being. As we build these habits, we don't just survive; we create space to thrive.
Try loving on yourself more and see how your heart, mind, body, and energy shift and open up.
Ian Davis is a results-oriented visionary creative strategist and Certified Mindfulness Meditation teacher and MBSR teacher at the intersection of creativity, entertainment and wellness. His focus on delivering results through a mindful approach has established him as a respected thought leader and game-changer in both the creative and wellness industries.
